How do men define a “50/50″ relationship?
We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.

How do men exercise on the beach?
By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.

How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?
Make him wear shoes.

How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
Rename the mail folder “Instruction Manuals.” 

How does a man show he’s planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male?
All he’s concerned with is legs, breasts and thighs.

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One-He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three. One to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.

How many men does it take to tile a bathroom?
Two. If you slice them very thinly.

What did God say after creating man?
I can do so much better.

What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant?
Any place without a drive-up window.

What do you call a handcuffed man?
Trustworthy.

What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn’t hold the pillow down long enough.

What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.

What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he’s God’s gift to women?
Exchange him.

What makes a man think about a candlelight dinner?
A power failure.

What should you give a man who has everything?
A woman to show him how to work it.

How can you tell when a man is well hung?
When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.

Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?
Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.

Why do men whistle when they’re sitting on the toilet?
Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe. 

Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?
Because if they all went, it would be Hell.

Why does it take 100 million sperms to fertilize one egg?
Because not one will stop and ask for directions.

1. “A gratis” oppure “gratis” (senza la vocale a) Riccardo Molinari – Lega Nord.

2. “Abbino” oppure “abbiano” (congiuntivo presente) Domenico Scilipoti – Deputato.

3. “accellerare” oppure “accelerare

Lolli Garrone – Giornalista Corriere della Sera.

4. Io sono tra coloro che “vuole” battere Berlusconi oppure che “vogliono” battere Berlusconi – Rosi Bindi – onorevole.

5. Qui da 20 anni non “fa scandalo” i delinquenti oppure non “fanno” scandalo Antonio Di Pietro – Onorevole.

6. Il debito pubblico “fanno si”che oppure “fa si” che…..

Michele Martone – Docente universitario.

7. “Accudire agli anziani” oppure “accudire gli anziani”

Claudia Brunetto” Giornalista. – La Repubblica.

8. “Un acne”oppure “una acne”

Gessi Adamoli – Giornalista – La Repubblica.

9.  “Una amalgama” oppure “un amalgama”

Jacopo Manfredi – Giornalista – La Repubblica.

10. “Arrabbiarsi” oppure “arabbiarsi”

Flavio Briatore  – Imprenditore.

11. “Assistere qualcosa” oppure “assistere a qualcosa Silvio Berlusconi – Deputato.

12. “Auspicarsi” oppure “auspicare”

Angelo Bagnasco – Vescovo.

13. “Benedivo”oppure “benedicevo”

Silvio Berlusconi  – Deputato.

14. “Boccia” oppure “bocci” (congiuntivo presente) Pierferdinando Casini – Deputato.

15. “Capisci a me ?”oppure “capisci una persona?”

Antonio Dipietro – deputato.

16. “I carceri ” oppure “le carceri.

Amariastella Gelmini  – Ministro Istruzione.

Tutti questi svarioni grammaticali sono solo una piccola parte di quelli riportati nel libro “Piuttosto che – Le cose da non dire, gli errori da non fare”di Valeria Della Valle e Giuseppe Patota -Editore Sperling & Kupfer. €15.90.

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Per saperne di più’ …..acquistare il libro!